The Do's and Don'ts of Online Gaming for Parents
As your child gets older, they may want to explorethe world of online gaming more and more. When you were growing up, video games were never around, but now, they can’t be separated from it. As a parent, you know you want to make sure your children are safe at all times when they are online because the internet can be unsafe in general. Because of this, we decided to write a list of do’s and don’ts to keep in mind when your children are online gaming. These tips will help you help them stay safe while still enjoying their favorite activities!
DO plan an online gaming time
Just like with any activity, it's important to set some limits when it comes to online gaming. You don't want your child to be spending all day (or night) glued to the screen! A good rule of thumb is to plan an hour or two of online gaming time each day. This way, your child can still enjoy their favorite pastime while also getting plenty of exercise and fresh air. The most important thing you can do as a parent is talk with your kids about what they are doing online and make sure they know that you're there to help them if they need it.
Don't forget about offline activities: Some parents might feel tempted to let their kids play games all day, but this isn't always a great idea! It's important that children get plenty of exercise outside in the fresh air. When kids spend too much time playing video games, they might end up being more sedentary than usual, which means that it's less likely for them to meet their daily recommended amount of physical activity. Spending too much time sitting around can also lead to problems like obesity, diabetes, and high blood pressure - so remember to encourage outdoor activities! Additionally, keep in mind that children who spend all day on social media and video games may not have enough face-to-face interactions with other people. So make sure your kids are also engaging in activities like reading books, participating in sporsportsts teams, or going on dates with friends. These types of activities will help balance out the sedentary lifestyle that may come from spending too much time indoors. Remember that if you have questions about how your child is using technology, it's okay to ask! Asking questions will show your kids that you care and it could even spark a conversation about things like cyberbullying or privacy settings. Also remember that the rules you set at home apply to ALL devices - whether they're in your home or not. For example, you might tell your child that they can only use their phone during dinner time at home; however, if someone steals their phone and goes online without permission, then they will break the rules no matter where they are.
Don't ignore warning signs: If you notice any warning signs of possible depression or anxiety in your child after prolonged exposure to screens, try talking with them about how they feel and what their worries might be. If necessary, it's best to seek professional help for these issues as soon as possible. The earlier a problem is addressed by a qualified therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist or medical professional, the easier it usually is to address successfully! Sometimes adults might overlook some milder symptoms because they seem so minor. However, it's important to take concerns seriously as long as there is a chance that something serious may be happening.
Don't criticize: Make sure you are praising your kids for positive behaviour instead of criticizing them for negative behaviour. Try rewarding good behavior instead of punishing bad behavior. There's been research done on the connection between praise and criticism, which shows that those who receive criticism are more likely to give up quicker than those who receive praise! Praise encourages success and discourages failure - whereas criticism does just the opposite.
DO play with your child
Spending time with your child while they play can be a great bonding experience. You can also get a feel for the game, how your child is progressing, and what kinds of in-game interactions they're having. Remember that online gaming communities can have their own norms and codes of conduct, so keep an eye out for whether or not you need to intervene. DON'T let them stay up late: Playing too many hours at night or skipping sleep altogether can lead to issues like sleeping disorders, depression, anxiety, and problems focusing on tasks at school or work. It's important to enforce healthy limits, especially when it comes to potential addiction. DO make sure they know safe practices:
Don't forget that you'll want to educate your child about avoiding scams, phishing schemes, hackers, porn sites and inappropriate content online. These are some of the most common ways kids are victimized online! DON'T spy on them:
It might seem harmless but it can make children feel like there's no privacy or trust in the relationship. If you're worried about your kid playing games too much, try checking their screen once every hour or limiting screen time altogether. You can even set parental controls to monitor how long they've been playing for each day. Talk with your kids if you notice they seem withdrawn, moody, or disconnected from friends. In this case, a therapist may be able to help by addressing the underlying emotional needs that could cause these symptoms. Lastly, DO talk to other parents: Having open conversations with other parents who are dealing with similar challenges can give you valuable perspective and support as well as provide ideas for new activities to do together as a family! One thing that has helped me is creating a simple contract with my daughter. I tell her what I expect her to do (limit gameplay to 2 hours/day) and she tells me what she expects from me (good grades). We both sign it and put it in a prominent place where we see it daily - just another reminder of our commitment to supporting one another through good times and bad. Another tip? Play with your child! Try joining them for some part of their game, even if it’s something more casual like mobile games. Not only will this bring you closer together but will show them that you care enough to spend time with them and doing things they enjoy. Finally, NEVER force your child to quit playing video games altogether. While it might sound extreme, you should never force your child to stop gaming completely without considering why they're playing and what benefits they're getting from it. Some gamers find great success competing professionally or streaming on Twitch; others may take comfort in using their skill level as a measure of self-worth. Find out why your child plays and figure out a plan together! Consider making a personal gaming plan with your child. They can share their goals for playing and what they hope to achieve from it, and you can support them in achieving those goals. There are lots of helpful tools out there to help create a plan like the official Screen Time app from Apple. This app allows you to track the time your child spends on their devices, set daily time limits, and pause functionality for certain apps. Set reasonable expectations for yourself and your child, communicate openly with them about any concerns you have, and reach out to other parents or professionals if needed!
DO get to know their friends
As your kids get older, they'll want to spend more time with their friends. You should get to know them too, so you can see what kind of people they are spending time with.
DON'T be afraid to ask questions (three sentences): If you're not sure about something, don't be afraid to ask your kids or their friends. They're likely to be more open than you think and will appreciate that you're interested in their hobbies. Just make sure you're polite and don't pry. Also, if anything seems out of the ordinary, let them know that it isn't okay. Be respectful of the other person's privacy, but still stand up for yourself.
You need to keep a close eye on things like online gaming when your child is getting older, because they might start meeting people that you don't approve of on there. You can talk to them about who they play games with and if there is anyone they might be worried about playing games with again. They may also have new ideas or new information now that they're growing up, so talk to them often! Let them know that you love them no matter what and try to help them understand where you're coming from. It's natural to worry, especially as they grow up. Remember that even though it can feel difficult at times, this is a great chance for you to build stronger relationships with your children. Talk to them often and listen carefully. Sometimes all it takes is asking one question to find out what's going on. For example, What was the name of that game you were talking about? will lead to an interesting conversation while having dinner. Even if they end up disagreeing with you, remember that they respect you enough to tell you how they feel. Keep the lines of communication open, it will make both sides happier in the long run. Try looking at some parenting blogs to learn about what others do with their kids, or just look for some good advice. There are many ways to solve any problems that come up; you just have to be creative. Find some resources that fit into your life and try those things first before trying something else. Trust me, these tips aren't so bad - I'm a parent myself! These are simple ways to increase your knowledge about your kid's hobby, which can only be helpful for everyone involved. Give these a shot and let me know how it goes! I'm here to help.
DON'T force them out of their routine
Your kids are creatures of habit. They like things to be a certain way and they don't like change. So, when you're trying to get them to stop playing video games, don't try to force them out of their routine. Instead, work with their routine. For example, if they want to play games on their own time in the morning before school starts or after school gets out (usually between the hours of 3-5pm), then find other activities that they can do during that time period. You can also set up a system where your child only plays one hour of video games per day or no more than three hours per week. You might have your son or daughter choose one activity per day that is not on the computer as an alternative activity. It will take some time for them to adjust, but this method usually works better than others because it takes into account what your child wants and needs. If you keep forcing them away from gaming without giving them any alternatives, then they'll just keep going back to gaming because it becomes their comfort zone. Give them options. There are lots of hobbies and activities that your children can engage in that won't involve sitting at a desk or TV screen all day long. Find something else for them to do instead! These ideas might not replace gaming entirely, but they should provide enough variety to give them a break and allow them to enjoy themselves outside of the virtual world. And even if they never fully quit playing video games, making sure they mix in plenty of healthy distractions along with time spent online could make all the difference. For more information about how to properly guide your child through the steps of learning to game responsibly, please visit Parent S who Guide To Online Gaming.
DON'T interrupt them while they are playing
When your child is playing an online game, it can be tempting to want to jump in and help them or offer your own suggestions. However, it's important to resist the urge to do so. Interrupting them will only serve to frustrate them and take them out of the game. Instead, let them play and offer help only when they ask for it. Don't try to stop them from playing: Some parents believe that all games are bad because they might not understand what their children are doing. But instead of trying to block them from playing games, talk with them about how much time you want them to spend on gaming as well as what type of games are appropriate for their age group. DON'T make too many rules: It's not healthy to have too many restrictions while they're gaming because it could cause a power struggle between you and your child. Instead, establish some basic guidelines and then allow room for flexibility where necessary. For example, if your child wants to play Call of Duty online at 2am on weekdays, tell them they'll need to come up with another plan.
DON'T assume anything: What looks like shooting people in a game may just be magic spells being cast or birds that are flying away into the sunset; there's no way for you to know without asking your child first. And even if it does look like violence, just because someone dies doesn't mean they died a violent death - think Zelda Ocarina of Time!
DON'T dismiss their favorite genres: You may not enjoy these genres but they love them - don't forget that sometimes video games can act as a form of self-expression and creativity which can be very rewarding. Encourage them to explore different types of games and then find one that speaks to them. DON'T panic: If your child starts talking about committing suicide in a game or suddenly stops talking, this is something you should address with them immediately.
DON'T forget about yourself: If you find yourself losing track of time after spending hours upon hours playing video games, it's important to step back and assess why this is happening. Are you feeling bored? Lonely? Or maybe unhappy? While gaming can provide a temporary escape from reality, it shouldn't become your main coping mechanism when going through hard times. So remember to get offline every once in awhile and make sure that everything else outside of gaming is taken care of before diving back in again. Above all, always follow your gut feelings and trust that you know best what's best for your child. The more you learn about what your child is interested in, the better prepared you'll be to offer guidance. With a little effort, you can navigate the world of online gaming together and watch your child grow along the way. Remember to listen to your intuition and trust that you know best what's best for your child.
DON'T take it personally if they would rather play than hang out with you
It can be easy for parents to take it personally when their kids would rather play video games than spend time with them. However, it's important to remember that this is just a phase and that there are ways to manage it so everyone can still have fun together. When you notice your child preferring to play video games over spending time with you, don't make a big deal out of it. Rather, give them some space and then try again later or during another activity such as going on a walk or bike ride together. If they continue to reject the idea of spending time with you then consider that they may be facing depression or anxiety which will need attention from an expert in order to solve the problem. Don't forget to talk about it: Parents should not forget to have conversations about what children see while playing online games. Children who witness violent content might develop nightmares or suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Talking about these topics will help children understand the effects and keep their sense of safety.
Do warn your child before playing violent content: If you want to introduce your child to violent content, warn them first by explaining what they're about to see and why it's necessary in certain situations like war simulation. That way, if they feel uncomfortable watching certain scenes, they can turn away from the screen instead of being taken by surprise. Warnings also prevent inappropriate expectations among younger children. Discussing potential violence ahead of time gives kids a chance to prepare themselves mentally for what they'll see without having anything suddenly appear in front of them without warning.I DO know that gaming has become part of life for many people, even my own son! He finds it challenging but rewarding and he has learned how to balance his game time with other activities. I'm not suggesting eliminating games completely because they do provide a form of entertainment, education, communication and even exercise in some cases. For me though, I am happy knowing my son is making healthy choices in his gaming habits which allow him to enjoy all aspects of life. As long as we set rules and boundaries early on, there should be no issue moving forward. They will be more likely to abide by our wishes if we show understanding and provide positive encouragement along the way.
DON'T judge them based on what you hear or see from other players
Just because another player is being toxic doesn't mean that your child is doing the same thing. They could be the one trying to diffuse the situation or help other players. You also don't know what kind of home life that other player has. Maybe they're lashing out because they're going through a tough time at home. So, before you judge your child based on what you see from other players, take a step back and understand the whole story. DON'T tell them who they can and can't play with: It can be hard to resist when someone tells you who your kid can and can't play with online. But it sets up unrealistic expectations about friendship in real life-not everyone will want to hang out with every person that their friends want them to! It's better for them if they have different relationships with different people-online friends are just like regular friends in some ways, but there are also some major differences. Plus, you should never dictate who your kids can and can't talk to. The internet opens so many doors and provides so many opportunities-let them explore all of those instead of limiting them unnecessarily. DON'T let them stay online too long: The vast majority of games are not addictive by themselves. However, most gamers end up playing more than one game at a time. If they play multiple games during a session without taking breaks in between then they might start developing an addiction even though the games themselves aren't addictive by themselves.
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